The invisible platform
When I arrived at the station, the next train to Birmingham was due to depart from platform five. Those of you who have had the good fortune never to walk through the doors of Wolverhampton station, may be unaware that to find platform five is a test of ingenuity and endurance. Take note; coming into the station from the main entrance, you will shortly find yourself on platform one, which is a good and logical sort of place in which to be. You will look around hopefully for the helpful sort of signs which are traditionally erected by stationmasters to enable you to find your way around, and you will quickly realise that they are right above your head. That is to say, there is a solitary sign which informs you that platforms two, three, four and six are all to your left. If you are a particularly observant sort, you may notice that platform five is not included on that list, and speculate as to whether the inscription has worn off or been vandalised. Those who are in a rush, will simply conclude that all platforms are located to the left. Either way, it is a fair bet that you are going to turn to the left in an attempt to find your platform.
Going left then, you will proceed to walk down the not inconsiderable length of platform one, until you reach the stairs to the footbridge at the far end. Ascending the two steep flights of steps, you will find yourself suspended on a covered walkway above the station, with further steps down to platforms two, three. four and six. There are no steps to platform five. Discovering this, you will curse in bewilderment but, aware that your current position gives you a perfect vantage point over the railway network, will scan the environs for an extra platform. None will be visible. With feelings ranging from mild despair to violent outrage, depending on how long it is until the train you were intending to catch is due to depart, you will turn around on your heel and suddenly notice a further sign declaring “Platform one, platform five, way out” and pointing in the direction from which you have just come.
And so you will set off upon your merry way again, descending the stairs, marching along platform one and ending up right back where you started. This would be a good time to consider cursing again, particularly if it is now raining, which it generally is in Wolverhampton. For want of better ideas, you now decide to walk to your right along the other length of platform one and discover, quite accidentally, that platform one inexplicably turns into platform five halfway down, without any sort of sign to warn you, and your train is actually sitting there. Depending on what sort of day you are having, your train may now pull off just before you manage to sufficiently recover from the shock of seeing it to jump aboard. If this happens, you will find that the next train to Birmingham is actually departing from platform three, and so you will need to climb all the way up those stairs again…
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If I sound bitter, it is because my job tends to force me to work in the blot on the landscape which is Wolverhampton a couple of times a year. The jobs are always spaced out at intervals that are just long enough for me to forget the location of platform five until it is already too late and I am standing on the footbridge watching my train pull away. This post is to help me remember for next time. It seems that the trains to Birmingham very frequently depart from platform five. I can only assume that the station layout was designed by a Brummie, who wanted to ensure that the unfortunate inhabitants of Wolverhampton were never able to escape from the prison which is their town and do their Christmas shopping in the Bull Ring.
Tags: trains, wolverhampton