Why I will no longer be drinking iced coffee milkshakey things in Starbucks
So, this evening I decided to eat in Starbucks. This was due less to a particular desire to eat in Starbucks and more to the fact that by the time I had cleansed my footwear of mud, Costa was closed.
I splashed out on another iced coffee milkshakey thing, despite the fact I know they probably contain an entire day’s intake of calories, and I also bought a bottle of water with which to wash it down. In addition, I purchased the least objectionable looking panini I could find, which was tomato and mozzarella, and stood in an incredibly long queue while I paid. It was very busy in there, and the staff were a little incompetent. I stood for ten minutes while they made my drink, but I was causing a bit of an obstruction with my huge backpack and had already been asked to move twice by the guy who was ineffectually cleaning the tables, so I opted not to stand and wait for my sandwich to get toasted but to grab a table.
Now as I said, I’ve never eaten in Starbucks before, so perhaps someone else can clarify for me whether this was a dreadful faux pas. When I have eaten in superior coffee houses staffed by people who possess both brains and manners, the etiquette has been to take a seat with your coffee, and a waitress brings you your panini when it pips. That’s, like, what you pay extra for the privilege of eating in for.
Apparently not. No one brought me the panini so after a decent interval had passed, I went to retrieve it myself. I didn’t mind having to do that, because I understood they were busy and that’s fair enough. Unfortunately, however, my sandwich was nowhere in sight. I joined the long queue and waited patiently to enquire after it. The girl on the till, who had sold me the said panini and put it under the grill for me, professed to have no idea what I was talking about and denied ever having served me. She asked to see my receipt.
Now it wasn’t entirely unreasonable of her to ask for my receipt, you may think. Unfortunately, however, I didnt have one 
You see, when this same girl had served me she had managed to mess up the till so that it locked and she couldn’t reopen it. The result was that she couldn’t print me a receipt, and had to count my change out of a tin of charity donations. I explained this, and she chose to deny this also. Further, she explained that I would be unable to purchase another panini, should I be crazy enough to wish to outlay another four quid, because it was now past the hour for serving food.
I was having about as much joy talking to her as to a brick wall, so I chose to leave. I ended up in MacDonalds eating a McChicken sandwich with my remaining small change. It was actually rather tasty, but the principle of the thing is that Starbucks just robbed me and I am not impressed