Reasons why German is such a cool language

There are lots of reasons why German is a really cool language – far too many to list in their entireity – but here are just a few :)

1. Being phonetic, it’s so straightforward to pronounce. You get some amazing consonant clusters like “Dschungel” (jungle) and “Tschechien” (Czech Republic).

2. If you’re prone to catarrh, trying to pronounce a word like “Chuchichaeschtli” (Swiss German for kitchen cupboard) is a really great way of clearing your throat.

3. It’s full of genuinely enormous compound words like “Rolltreppenbenutzungshinweise” (tips for using an escalator) and ” Rindfleischetikettierungsueberwachungsaufgabenuebertragungsg esetz ” (the law which regulates the supervision of beef)

4. A large proportion of the vocabulary is easily guessable from English; lernen, trinken, sitzen, fallen etc.

5. I forget the correct grammatical term for it, but the verb endings which aren’t now redundant can be used in any context, which has given rise to an interesting slang called Denglish. It includes such words as “gemanagt”, “downloadete” etc.

6. The use of Konjunktiv 1 to express disdain for something someone has told you but you don’t believe.

7. The use of “also” whenever you can’t think of anything more appropriate to say. Also “naja”, “na gut”etc.

8. The way no one actually uses the word “nein” to mean “no”, but walks round saying “neigh, neigh” like a horse.

9. The fact that “zwei” (two) and “drei” (three) sound so similar when pronounced that they’ve had to invent a whole new word “zwo” to mean two when giving telephone numbers or football scores.

10. The mindblowing way that “halb acht” is actually not half eight but half seven.

11. The potential for foreigners to inadvertently make remarks about their sexuality whilst attempting to discuss the weather. “Ich bin warm” (I am gay), “ich bin heiss” (I am horny), “ich bin kalt” (I am frigid).

12. The way an incorrect pronunciation of “ch” can makes you sound really stupid. Make it too soft in “ich heisse” (I am called) and you end up saying “ich scheisse” (I am shitting), make it too hard in “Nacht” (night) and everyone will think you’re saying “nackt” (naked).

13. The way all adjectives can become nouns if you give them a capital letter and decline appropriately. And the way all participles can become adjectives which in turn can become nouns.

14. So many words which have a nuance untranslatable into English. Some are now part of English vocab – Schadenfreude, Zeitgeist, Wanderlust. Others like Heimat or Gemuetlichkeit, Weltschmerz, Torschwellenangst perhaps haven’t.

15. The fact that you never need to use the simple past in speech, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the endings without a verb table.

16. The use of “doch” to contradict erroneous assumptions.

17. The way you can string a sentence out for several minutes before you have to figure out what the verb is.

18. The endless arguments you can have with a friend who is standing at the bottom of a staircase of which you are standing at the top, as to whether you are about to go “hinunter” or “herunter”.

19. Expressive words like “krank”, “kaput”, “dumm”, “Quatsch”

20. The way you can use “Scheiss-” as a prefix on any noun you like.

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One Response to “Reasons why German is such a cool language”

  1. Damon Lord Says:

    Das war mir ausgezeichnet zu lesen. Scheissgut. ;)

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