This week I took the slightly random step of creating a Twitter account for myself. I use the word random because I have only ever had a very hazy idea of what Twitter actually is, and don’t have the patience to read the help guide, but as far as I can establish it seems to be a website for people who are obsessive about updating their Facebook status. Now I must confess that I am rather partial to updating my Facebook status myself, but the more ‘friends’ I acquire, the more constrained I feel about what I can actually say. “Clare has had a crap day at work” is not a status which will further my career when I know my boss can read it, nor is “Clare is really happy because Babel just let her suck his cock” a good status when there is a family member in my friends list. Sometimes I get around the problem by setting my status in Esperanto. Sometimes I don’t even want Esperantists to read it, in which case I write it in German because I only have a handful of Facebook friends who will automatically understand that, especially if I choose my slang carefully. Sometimes I set an indiscreet status in a fit of emotion and then delete it when I’ve calmed down. I like setting statuses, it’s an interesting emotional outlet, and it can help to focus the mind when you’re forced to express your mood in such a limited number of characters.

Twitter gives you 140 characters which is a nice number, and as there are only three people I know who seem to use it, it may give me scope to express myself more freely. I don’t know what Damon thinks (sorry Damon, I am reading your creative writing blog, I’ve just not got round to commenting), but I also see Twitter, Facebook statuses and the like as an interesting literary form. You’ve essentially only got one or two sentences to play with, but if you choose your words carefully you can still make quite an impact. There’s an interesting monthly writing competition called txtlit which I keep intending to enter because I find the concept very exciting; read some of the winners on the results page to see what I mean.

There is actually a more serious side to Twitter, as various news broadcasters including the BBC and CNN use it to broadcast breaking news. I’ve signed up to follow both, as well as news in Esperanto, and the result is that when I log in I can see an array of short, snappy news bulletins. This suits me well as I like to keep up-to-date but sometimes find the BBC website quite confusing, the way it always wants me to play a video or listen to an audio. The Esperanto news seems particularly nice because it has stories from countries our media traditionally ignore.

Anyways, it’s nearly the end of 2008 but I’m not going to be here on New Year’s Eve to write a depressing post about how I didn’t fulfil any of my resolutions and have achieved nothing in the past 12 months except to get older and fatter. Instead of reflecting in a serious manner on the key events of the last year, I thought it might be amusing to take a look at the year through my Facebook statuses, and laugh at the trivial things which appear to have made me mad or unhappy. It’s actually a bit tedious to copy and paste statuses from FB, but I have included every single one that is still on my wall for completeness, even the ones I didn’t like. The ones I really didn’t like will have been deleted at a prior date, so if you don’t see one you remember it’s not that I’m cheating. Prepare to enjoy, or else be terminally bored, depending on how much you’re into Facebook This is my year…

January

Clare is wondering if patience is something one can ever learn, or whether it would be simpler just to give up trying now.

Clare is consoling herself with the fact that if you expect the worst you may occasionally be pleasantly surprised.

Clare is fighting internal battles against herself but is unsure how to tell whether she’s winning.

Clare is a little fed up of rail replacement buses.

Clare is in Wantage. Anyone who is not in Wantage cannot possibly understand how this feels.

Clare is actually at home for once.

Clare is trying not to think about zombies.

February

Clare is wondering how after five months of intending to learn French she still failed to remember that aller was the verb for “to go” :’-(.

Clare is fed up of reading books which think they are funnier than they are.

Clare is concerned by the fact that the prospect of watching wrestling does not seem as repellent as it logically ought to. Love can do terrible things to us :(.

Clare is sick to death of being made to feel guilty when she hasn’t actually done anything wrong.

Clare does not advise anyone to waste money seeing Cloverfield. Crap film :(.

Clare is on the Bradenham diet.

Clare thinking about holidays.

Clare is nearing the end of a very exciting book.

Clare is rather chuffed that the client gave her a Vauxhall Moo.

March

Clare is trying to tell herself that nothing can possibly go wrong.

Clare congratulates National Rail on surpassing themselves with the design of a replacement bus route which makes the forty mile journey to Leicester take TWO hours!

Clare has decided that Hell is going to be a rail replacement bus which is always fifteen miles away from Leicester.

April

Clare is trying to remind herself that she’s an adult and is perfectly entitled to do things other people disapprove of. She is trying to very hard not to turn bright red whilst telling the said people about said things.

Clare is not loving the fact that she’s getting up at five thirty on a Saturday morning.

Clare has finally made it home from a lovely but exhausting wedding!

Clare is finding London quite exhausting.

Clare is booking flights to Stuttgart :).

Clare is still not home from work and it’s nearly nine pm. Clients shouldn’t be allowed to have power cuts and Euston shouldn’t be allowed to cancel trains!

Clare is enjoying this week more than last!

Clare is missing Babel. Tis useful to have something constantly on hand to punch :P.

May

Clare is trying not to sneeze.

Clare is getting excited about going to Southport :).

Clare is at the Brita Kongseso and a little apprehensive about cutting the cake.

Clare is fed up of going to Swadlincote. What kind if client starts work before eight anyway?!

Clare is at Bradenham.

Clare is feeling like there is a weight off her mind. A rather big, heavy weight to be precise.

Clare is glad that Costa have officially declared summer and started serving iced lattes again :).

Clare has had a lucky escape. Next time she attempts to be rational, would someone please stop her?!

June

Clare is going to Germany for the weekend :).

Clare is going to Bolton. By herself. For a whole week.

Clare is in a hotel in Bolton on her own and has decided that the entertainment possibilities are severely limited!

Clare is trying not to lose her temper with patronising bigots.

Clare has had a rather nice day, even though it involved going to a Chinese.

Clare is fed up of having hayfever :(.

Clare is trying not to be stressed about the whole boyfriend meeting parents prospect. What could possibly go wrong?!

Clare is having breakfast cooked for her :).

July

Clare is trying to explain to the staff at Lloyds TSB that Slovakia and Slovenia are not the same place despite the fact they both begin with Slov.

Clare is going to see Colin’s play tonight :).

Clare is not looking forward to Friday :(.

Clare is waiting to be fed.

Clare is having murderous thoughts about the person who designed the M6 toll.

Clare is hoping H doesn’t get sacked tomorrow, otherwise she’ll have to do the contributions testing herself :P.

Clare has been going out with Tim for eighteen months now :o.

Clare will be in Hungary from 26/07 to 02/08. If she manages to get there at all – she’s taking the “scenic” route to Szombathely via Bratislava and Vienna!!!

August

Clare went to bed at 04.30, got up at 06.00, spent the next 12 hours on public transport, and is now not only home but happier than she has been for a long, long time.

Clare has developed a taste for red wine.

Clare is addicted to the Caffe Nero Frappe Latte.

Clare has got no time for people who can’t be bothered to think for themselves.

Clare is glad she found the missing French death certificate.

Clare wonders why anyone lives in England if French property is really that cheap?!

Clare ne volas hejmeniri cxar sxi suspektas ke malbona novajxo atendas sxin. Kelkfoje ja estas pli bone kiam oni ne scias la veron.

Clare has had an amazing day on a tandem – thank you Babel.

Clare will be in Grindelwald until September 6th.

September

Clare is in Grindelwald

Clare is back from the Alps.

Clare malgxojas cxar sxi devas labori en Londono dum la venonta semajno. 5 tagoj de hoteloj kaj restoracioj – bonege! :’(

Clare was proud to find her way to Great Portland Street on her own, but spoiled it by catching the Tube in the wrong direction. She blames Anthony

Clare has lost her voice from too much screaming at Drayton Manor.

Clare apenaux povas kredi kiom da stultuloj parolas Esperanton.

Clare iros en la inferon cxar sxi ne suficxe interesigxis pri la formorto de la mamutoj.

Clare feels like doing an impression of the Tiger Who Came to Tea and drinking all the water in the tap.

Clare thinks the character limit on your facebook status is stupid. She isn’t allowed enough characters to adequately express her current feelings.

Clare is trying not to worry obsessively, but somehow seems to be failing.

Clare is hoping that it isn’t bad news today.

October

Clare ne volas labori hodiaux vespere. Ne estas juste :(.

Clare thinks that everyone in the HR department at Leicester University ought to be sacked.

Clare does not think that this is a good time of night to attempt a cashflow. But she thinks it’s pretty cool that Facebook is now in Esperanto :).

Clare volas plori, cxar denove venos lundo.

Clare estas tre soleca.

Clare suddenly seems to have a rather busy week with a lot of eating out

Clare went to Peterborough for the first time two years ago tomorrow. What wouldn’t she give to go back to 2006 and stop what happened next?!

Clare is gutted that the Moosemobile just got locked in a carpark :(.

Clare is having a surprisingly nice weekend :).

Clare gxojas ke la JEB-renkontigxo estis sukcesa :).

Clare ne plu volas esti kontistino. Sxi neniam volis farigxi kontistino kaj ne tute komprenas kiel tio okazis…

Clare is traumatised because she just found something big and hairy in her bed. No, not Tim – it had eight legs :’(.

Clare is a little disconcerted that she now seems to be responsible for teaching Esperanto to Ghana. What do you call people from Ghana? Ghanese? Ghananians?

Clare has had a very civilised day of tearooms and bookshops and is reassured that she hasn’t been deluged by emails from Ghanaians wanting to learn Esperanto :).

Clare needs someone with a digital camera to take a photo of her, otherwise she might have to go to Melton Mowbray.

Clare is going to Esperanto House for the weekend in order to talk about the Mona Lisa and drink whisky with a blindfold. Hmmm. Should be ‘interesting’ :).

Clare has decided that she is never going to appreciate art or expensive wine.

Clare is gutted that she missed the last in the series of the history of maths on bbc4 last night Anyone know if it’s repeated?

Clare wonders why she agreed to get up at 5.30 on Sat am & catch the train to Euston in a suit! She must’ve been an auditor too long if this is what she does for fun!

November

Clare will be promoting Esperanto at the London Language Show all weekend. If you’re near Kensington Olympia, come and say hi :).

Clare thinks it is not a good idea for two adults to share a bed smaller than a normal single, no matter how much they like each other!

Clare is contemplating doing something morally reprehensible. But at least she didn’t spend last night in a small camp bed.

Clare failed in today’s mission so is now just trusting to fate. Somehow she has a bad feeling about how this is all going to end.

Clare wonders if anyone else finds it patronising to be told how to do their job by a computer animation with an American accent

Clare just spent an hour creating an important word document, protected it with a clever password and seemingly mistyped it because now she can’t open it again :(.

Clare likes clients who give her a lift to the station :).

Clare kredas ke post tio, kion sxi skribis cxi-matene en la grupo ‘UEA-membroj’, ankaux sxi rajtas esti ano de MI5.

Clare is a bit disturbed that there are seemingly 70 ghanaians who expect her to correct their Esperanto homework :(.

Clare agrees with Mikeo. Slagging someone off at their memorial evening is totally out of order

Clare devas verki artikolon pri la lastatempa agado de JEB, kaj havas neniujn ideojn. Eble morgaux…

Clare ne komprenas kial oni jxus propronis ke sxi faru ion, kion Tim sendube farus pli bone.

Clare thinks that £1.50 is expensive for a Berliner but suspects she’ll be unable to stop herself buying one tomorrow anyway.

Clare estas soleca kaj timas pri la estonteco. Kvankam sxi malamas sian laboron, sxi ne volas farigxi senlabora.

Clare can’t decide whether to commute to London or whether she’d just be better getting a hotel.

Clare is going to visit Rolf tomorrow – she feels cheered up already :).

Clare is on a train with leaking toilets. Foul :(.

Clare is getting drunk in a pub in Halifax. It’s about as classy up north as she expected

Clare had a really cool weekend in halifax – thanks Rolf :).

Clare had nine hours sleep last night. How crazy is that?! :o.

Clare devas ellitigxi je la kvina kaj duono :’(.

Clare is in Wantage :’( But the good news is that the wireless (just about!) works :).

Clare does not think lasagne should involve peas!

Clare thinks it’s flipping ridiculous to text someone who’s on an away job and ask them to answer one of your voicemail messages because you’re ‘snowed under’!!!

Clare has never been so glad to see a vertical line

Clare is no longer in Wantage, thanks be to God :).

Clare is glad that Tim didn’t explode at the Christmas market yesterday, though at times she thought it was touch and go :(.

Clare reckons she could have Tim done for domestic violence after the lady in WHSmiths misunderstood a joke about punching her in the kidneys

Clare is mildly surprised to find she’s nearly 25. The past ten years seem to have gone rather fast and she’s not sure she’s achieved anything!

Clare is doing something she’s been meaning to since 2003 – tidy her inbox into folders!

Clare scivolas, cxu Esperantistoj povas klarigi al sxi, kiu estas Reto Rossetti?

Clare ankoraux ne klarigis al siaj gepatroj ke sxi iros al la IS post kristnasko. Morgaux sxi nepre faru tion.. :(.

Clare thanks everyone who wished her happy birthday/dankas al cxiuj kiuj deziris al sxi felicxan
naskigxtagon. It was a great day/Estis bonega tago :).

Clare havas sian unuan malvarmumon de la vintro kaj ne volas ellitigxi je la kvina por labori en Londono :(.

December

Clare has already drunk two cups of coffee, and it’s only 8.30 am.

Clare is not impressed that she got up at five so that she could be at the client for nine, only to find that the lazy bastards don’t turn up til ten :(.

Clare wonders if anyone can tell her how/where to top up an Oyster Card. Gavan made her buy one but she doesn’t understand how to use it :(.

Clare has renounced pacifism and thinks that ppl who can’t shut the fuck up when they’re sitting in the quiet carriage of the train should be shot.

Clare is feeling a little less grumpy now she’s finally got home and had her tea.

Clare is gutted that she won’t be able to see Tim on his birthday :(.

Clare jxus acxetis euxrojn por la IS kaj volas plori pro la malforta pundo. 300 euxroj = 278 pundoj! Nekredeble :’(.

Clare has finally done all her Christmas shopping. It was painful.

Clare wonders why bad things have to happen to good people :(.

Clare is busy doing nothing, working the whole day through, trying to find lots of things not to do…

Clare is going to Munich for the weekend :).

Clare is back from snowy Germany and really didn’t want to get up for work this morning :(.

Clare can’t believe Babel is now thirty and she is officially going out with an old man :P.

Clare is trying to figure out how to use twitter, and thinking maybe it might be beyond her.

Clare wonders why anyone would live in England if they didn’t have to.

Well, erm, there you go: that was 2008. I’m reassured to see that my thoughts have been as profoundly trivial as I anticipated

Tags: 2008, Facebook, status, twitter

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 21st, 2008 at 11:29 pm and is filed under Random rambling. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.