I have always been rather fond of honey, ever since I was six and got my first copy of the Complete Works of Winnie the Pooh I don’t think I’d ever tried it before that, because it isn’t safe to give honey to babies (it contains a botulism which they aren’t resistant to), but having read all about the adventures of Pooh, Piglet and Co I was most intrigued and have quite a clear memory of eating my first honey sandwiches I was also intrigued a year later when I got a hardback copy of the Complete Paddington Stories, but when I tried marmelade I discovered I didn’t like it anywhere near as much. Marmelade is too fruity and potentially healthy

When I was about twelve, I have a strange memory of going to a sort of honey museum. I was in holiday in North Wales, and I remember one day my family drove down to the little seaside town of Twywn. En route, I swear we stopped off at a tiny factory of sorts which belonged to some people who made Halo bars. At least, I think that was what they were called Whatever they were I haven’t seen them in the shops for a long time, but one of the key ingredients was honey. There were all sorts of displays about the production process and various uses of honey, and then at the end the most exciting thing was that we got to eat honey-flavoured icecream. That is to say, the ice cream wasn’t specifically honey flavoured (mine was mint chocolate chip), but it was made during honey and so it tasted special, and rather delicious

Hunny in my tummy

The reasoning was that I had a very sore throat, and wanting something to alleviate it, I poppped into Sainsburys. They were selling Stepsils and the like but really, those things are very expensive and do precious little except make me feel slightly sick. I remembered that when I was little and had a cough, my mother always used to make me a soothing drink from hot water, lemon juice and honey. Jars of honey were selling at a cheaper price than Stepsils, and feeling thrifty I decided to opt for the honey instead.

The problem was, that I didnt have a spoon I contemplated sitting on public transport and eating honey out of a jar with my fingers, but decided I might look just a little bit silly. So, I went into Sainsburys in search of a plastic spoon. You wouldn’t think a plastic spoon would be such a difficult item to acquire, but I had a few problems. When I eventually tracked down the relevant display, I discovered that I would have to buy either a packet of 50 spoons, or a mixed packet of spoons, forks and knives. Both were over three quid, which was more small change than I had

I was contemplating purchasing some sort of disgusting fromage frais thing which came with a spoon, when my eyes alighted on something called the Sainsburys Basics Range. So it was that I purchased a little box of six metal teaspoons for the negligible price of £1.09 Not bad, although there was a slight complication when the girl at the checkout asked for ID. Apparently they aren’t allowed to sell metal cutlery to anyone who looks like they might be under 21. I am intrigued as to what sort of injuries I could do to someone with a teaspoon

Equipped with all necessary tools, I settled down to enjoy my honey. It is indeed very good for throats, and I have enjoyed so much of it that I decided I’d better give it a quick google to check I wasn’t surpassing some sort of maximum daily honey intake which the Government had laid down. Fortunately, I’ve not come across anything which suggests it is possible to overdose

Honey is in fact very good for you indeed. Because it has in effect been digested by bees before you get to eat it, it’s easy to digest and a good thing to eat if you want a quick sugar rush because it takes your body less time to extract the energy from it than processed foods. Unfortunately it comes in rather unwieldy glass jars and is also a trifle sticky, so not the easiest thing to cart about on the offchance you might need an energy boost Apparently it can also be used as an antiseptic to apply to wounds, although I would be a bit tentative about pouring honey onto an open cut, and it contains very little fat and not an awful lot of calories. One of it’s best uses is as a hayfever cure. If you can find honey local to where you live, eating it regularly will give you an immunity to the local pollen. Unfortunately I haven’t yet managed to find honey which stems from Central Birmingham

Anyhow, like Pooh I am now off for a “little something” and will probably return with a sticky nose and sticky paws I want to finish the jar by the end of the week, my justification being that that’s the longest possible about of time I could last without accidentally smashing it and getting honey all over some important documents!