I was incredibly excited about going to the wrestling on Monday because I have always wanted to visit the Millennium Dome. I know technically I’m not supposed to call it the Millennium Dome anymore, but I think that is ever such a better name than the O2 and I was one of the very few people in the country who actually wanted to visit it and never got chance. I wasn’t disappointed when I got off the tube at North Greenwich and saw it for the first time; it’s absolutely massive and looks just as cool as it does on tv

At this juncture I feel the need to clarify that I am not a wrestling fan. There is a malicious rumour going around my office at the moment that I may be such a thing and I can foresee that it is not going to be an easy one to squash. I confess, however, that I am going out with a wrestling fan, and many months ago I had the bright idea to get him RAW tickets for his birthday. This was in itself a very traumatic experience which necessitated me trawling frightening wrestling forums in the early hours of the morning in an attempt to discover exactly what RAW was and whether my boyfriend liked it. I eventually took the plunge and outlaid a not inconsiderable amount of cash for the tickets, only to be told by one of his friends that he only watches ECW. Having no idea what ECW might be, I spend a very stressful few weeks before his birthday investigating how much I would be able to sell the tickets for on ebay if he turned out not to want them Happily, his mate turned out to be mistaken and he seemed quite pleased with them Very unexpectedly, he actually said I could have the second ticket to come with him, and by an amazing piece of good fortune the evening happened to fall during one of the only two weeks I shall probably spend working in London this year

When we got to the Dome I was pleasantly surprised by how well organised the whole business seemed to be. We didn’t have to queue long at all considering the volume of people who were arriving, and we found our seats with remarkably little hassle. The seats, I must say, were remarkably high up and I was initially rather scared as my vertigo kicked in, but I endeavoured not to say so for fear of annoying my boyfriend whom I had already offended with an indiscreet remark before having our tickets checked. I am quite dreadful at making indiscreet remarks The following day I went to a cashpoint at lunch to get some money for a taxi and cheerfully announced to my colleague that I had tonnes of money in my pocket now, a comment which she pointed out to me was probably not the best to make at the top of my voice in the middle of Piccadilly Circus

The seats were also in front of some spotlights, which was disappointing because I had checked the seating plan rigorously at the time of booking to ensure we were sitting in front of no such thing, and next to a small child which I found quite perplexing.

That is to say, I was perplexed at quite how many small children had been brought along to the event and would venture to say that it was quite irresponsible parenting to take them out to an event that went on after ten pm on a school night, quite apart from any points you could possibly make about allowing them to witness brutal violence.

Being of the firm impression that empty vessels make the most noise, I was periodically irritated by the weird array of whooping noises the person sitting behind me seemed capable of making with his vocal chords, but once the wrestling actually started I was soon sufficiently distracted by trying to understand what was going on to be able to ignore them

The first few matches weren’t televised and I struggled to figure out who was who. I mean, the participants did wear different coloured underpants, which helped to identify them slightly, but even so it was possible to become confused if one person was sitting on top of the other. I must say that all of the men who came out were exceptionally ugly, with the possible exception of Triple H at the end who whilst far from good looking was attractive in an “I can understand why someone else might want to shag him though I personally wouldn’t” sort of way. The only good looking male wrestler I have ever seen, John Cena, didn’t show up which was partly a grave disappointment but in other ways quite relieving. My boyfriend had explained to me that if he came out, all the other men in the audience were going to boo at him because they were jealous of his good looks, at that could have been quite depressing

The female wrestlers, I must add, were much better looking than the male and it strikes me that wrestling might be an awful lot more popular if men were barred from taking part.

After the warm up sort of matches there was a rather misjudged interlude where the American hostess person decided to sing the National Anthem. I was rather surprised at what a large proportion of the audience stood up for that, never before having been in a position where anyone has done anything other than boo it! The proper wrestling started after that with a handful of people I had heard of, and there was one match in particular which I enjoyed which had someone called Umaga in it. He was an enormous guy, so the match was exciting firstly because he was squashing a rather puny little bloke and secondly because he was so distinctive looking that I didn’t have to waste time trying to tell the combatants apart

I was most disgusted, however, when he lost! It was a total travesty of justice I mean, he was miles bigger than the other guy and spent the entire duration of the match throwing him about and sitting on him whilst the little guy hardly put up any resistance, so clearly if you were judging the performances on their merits, he totally deserved to win. At the last minute, however, he temporarily appeared to lose concentration, the little guy managed to hold his shoulder to the floor for three seconds and all of a sudden was pronounced the winner! I found that highly bemusing and am not sure where the long term enjoyment factor comes from in a sport where the best person doesn’t get to win…

Nevertheless, it was a fascinating experience and the three hours went much quicker than I had anticipated I was very glad to be with my boyfriend at the end when several thousand people were attempting to cram through the doors of the train station to get home on the Jubilee Line, because he had the slightly illegal brainwave to climb over a fence and sneak in the front of the station whilst the hordes were all trying to push their way in the back. I was quite impressed with myself that I managed to get over the said fence, though my boyfriend was mean and laughed at me on the grounds that I didn’t do it in a very dignified manner

A full appreciation of the finer points of wrestling is something which is probably going to be forever beyond me, but at least I understand it a little better now; at the times when I managed to forget that I abhor all violence, I was able to get quite into it and all in all it was a very enjoyable evening